Losing Control
by azacfan09590
Summary: Bella has changed but her senses are taking over, her thirst for blood is unbearable to watch and she feels it coursing through her veins. Will Edward’s love and trust be enough to keep her tamed or will the innocent people of Forks blood call out to her
1. Chapter 1

Name: Loosing Control

Name: Losing Control

Rating: T

Summary: Bella has changed but her senses are taking over, her thirst for blood is unbearable to watch and she feels it coursing through her veins. Will Edward's love and trust be enough to keep her tamed or will the innocent people of Forks blood call out to her in more ways than imaginable and would she ever see Jake again?

Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters from Twilight

"I want him!" I screamed at the top of my lungs as Edward held me as tightly as he could but I was stronger

"A little help Emmett" he yelled and I struggled against the other set of arms that held me down. My nails clawed at the dirt and I cringed giving up to their combined strength

"Calm Bella" Edward pleaded as he whispered in to my ear his voice strained, he couldn't handle seeing me like this, me catching sight of a passerby on the street and then him having to take action and push me in to an alley way so I could calm down. For him to take me out in to public was stupid but we were at that phase were he would test me, see if I could handle being out with everyone else; I failed yet again.

When the coast was clear both Emmett and Edward grabbed on to one of my arms carrying my deeper in to the shadows. My breath was heavy as I clenched me jaw shut, it was like an endless battle in my head, Good vs. Evil just then evil won but now good was coming back for another fight.

I felt my feet lift off the ground and I knew we were heading home, thank god. Edward slung me on to his back not wanting to let me go afraid I would try to escape but as the city disappeared behind us my senses started to calm down and no all I could smell was the blood of animals near by. I knew my eyes were probably a deep red because I hadn't eaten at all yet since my transformation, Edward as afraid that if I started with a deer or two I wouldn't be able to stop and would go after the people of Forks, I would go after my friends, Charlie.

I hugged my arms around Edward's neck

"I'm so sorry" I whispered feeling despair overwhelm me

"It's alright" he assured me as the Cullen's house came in to view.

"Bella I think we should have an arm wrestling fight when we get back, I think I could take you" Emmett teased me making me laugh, he was always good at getting me to calm down

"And what Emmett put you through the embarrassment of losing?" I challenged his lips twitched and Edward smiled as we stopped and he let me down.

I felt horrible again as Emmett walked inside leaving us alone

"I didn't mean too…" I knew that if I could still cry I would be right now. Edward placed a hand that no longer felt cold to the touch on my cheek, his crooked smile still made me melt.

That was the one grateful thing about this transformation; Edward still gave me the butterflies I got when I was human even though my heart was no longer beating, somewhere in my head it still beat for him. It scared me though because everyday my human memories and the feeling of my senses disappeared slowly and the more I tried to remember the more foggy they became.

"Bella this won't be easy you will get better" I leaned my face in to his palm smiling as I kissed the top of his wrist

"I hope I get better"

"You will" his voice was stern as he picked up my face so I would look at him

"You will" he repeated more quietly this time.

He grabbed on to my hand leading me inside. I had been living with the Cullen's' for two weeks now and even though a few memories were becoming foggy the memory of that night was still crystal clear.

I can still feel Tanya's lips on my neck as she bit down harder than James did pumping more venom in to my veins then needed. I remember screaming out in agony, the ripping sound Tanya's body made as Edward attacked the most violent I had ever seen him.

His face was torn as he hunched over me his hands resting on my cheeks as I tried to suppress the pain I felt, to look brave for him. Later on I was carried home in record time where I sat in a room for what felt like eternity but in reality was only a few days. Edward wouldn't leave my side during that time and would rub my arms soothingly as I cringed in pain. When it was finished I felt whole as strange as that sounded, I felt at ease but then the strong taste for blood hit me head on, I tried to run but that's when the rest of the Cullen family intervened helping Edward as they kept me pinned against the wall.

I stopped thinking about that time as we walked in to the large house that was now my home. I knew deep down inside the Cullen's were keeping something from me, probably the missing posters that hung on every store window my face smiling back at the passerby's. Cops and search parties came up to the Cullen's house frequently seeing if we had returned and as the police searched the house to see if anyone was home they came up with the conclusion that the Cullen's had fled the state but really we were all in hiding in the treetops above only coming out of the darkness when they left for the night. For now Carlisle quit the hospital telling us we would be okay living off the money he saved up, enough time to figure out where we would go next.

"She snapped again" Emmett's voice bellowed as Carlisle entered the room. I smiled sheepishly then looked down at my shoes not wanting to see his reaction

"All in good time Bella" he said his voice smooth and collected, I looked back up feeling better about the whole situation.

"I'll try harder I swear" Edward squeezed my hand and I looked over at him, his eyes were black too because he had been too busy watching me than to hunt.

We were the only too in the house that hadn't eaten actually. Everyone else took shifts with Edward to watch me while the rest went hunting for the day. Today it was Emmett's turn to help him out and I was surprised to see they had all returned while we were gone.

"Bella!" Alice squealed as she skipped down the stairs with little effort, the gracefulness didn't make me jealous at all anymore because I had it too, trust me I don't miss my clumsiness at all. She brought me up in to a tight hug and I looked past her shoulder as jasper stopped at the end of the staircase making me feel a lot better.

"Thank you jasper" is aid with a half smile and he nodded

"Anytime"

"So it's my shift tomorrow and I think you are in need of a shopping trip!" she clapped her hands excitedly

"That's not such a good idea" Edward said coldly and she shut up huffing as she folded her arms across her chest

"I think it's a perfect idea Edward" she snapped back but turned to face Carlisle as he spoke

"Edward's right Alice Bella isn't ready yet"

I slumped down in to the seat nearest to me frowning feeling like we were back to square one.


	2. Chapter 2

I sat on the couch that rested against a wall in Edward's room soundlessly, I still wasn't used to the sounds I didn't make anymore when I entered a room it was always quiet.

Edward paced back and forth in front of me and I watched him with my eyes as I twiddled my thumbs

"Edward you need to hunt" I whispered as his blood thirsty eyes turned to me

"I'm fine" he sighed walking over to me and taking my hands raising them to his lips as he kissed my ring and then the rest of them. I smiled weakly feeling hungry too but I kept quiet this wasn't the time for me to go out, not yet.

"You can't keep protecting me haven't you done enough?" I asked taking my hands back as he let them go

"Jasper and Emmett can watch me I'll be fine" his expression was torn as he began to pace again something was troubling but I was afraid to ask.

I got up walking in to the bathroom that was attached to his room, I felt his eyes on my but I shook the feeling closing the door behind me. I clutched the side of my sink careful as to not break it. My reflection scared me as it stared back. My physical features changed as well, I was breath taking just like the rest of them. My hair always looked neat and wavy my skin pale and flawless. A smile flickered across my face and the gleam of my perfectly white teeth caught my eyes making me laugh quietly to myself, if my parents could see me now.

I felt crippling pain rise up through me and I let out a small breath, it was hard to think of Charlie and Renee who I knew would spend the rest of their lives looking for me praying that one day I would return home and I never would.

Having enough of being by myself I opened the door slowly seeing Edward stand there perfectly still waiting for me. I walked up to him and his arms opened so I could come in, I felt his hands wrap around my waist and I buried my face in to his chest my face sullen.

"I'm always going to be here" he murmured in to my hair as he kissed the top of my head

"I know" I said as I wrapped my hands around his neck looking up at him

"I love you Edward" I whispered before pressing my lips against his, to me now they were warm and inviting and this was the part I had always been excited for when I was human, the day when Edward could kiss me as freely as he pleased. It scared me though because I knew I didn't smell as sweet to him as I used too but since Edward told me before he was used to my scent maybe he didn't miss it too much.

I kissed him back laughing as I felt him carry me over to the couch; he laid me down resting atop of me not needing to support all his weight on his arms because I could handle it now. My breathing still became uneven though when he kissed me and I loved that part no matter how far away I was from being human Edward could still take my breath away.

His lips moved down to my throat inching their way closer to the collar of my shirt, I took in a breath laughing as his lips tickled my neck when he moved back up. He chuckled too kissing me one more time softly on the lips

"I think that's enough for now" he said sitting back up, I groaned throwing my hands over my eyes

"Even when it's safe to do so you still pull away" he laughed leaning over me again resting a hand on my cheek

"Pertinence" I groaned again

"You always say that" I accused pointing a finger at him, he kissed that finger and I huffed feeling defeated on this subject.

There was a light tap on the door and we both sat up but remained next to each other hand in hand

"Come in" Edward said with a smile playing on his lips from our discussion, I frowned and then turned my head so I could smile too.

Rosalie pushed the door open hesitating at the threshold

"Edward… Esme, Jasper, and I are leaving for a hunt I was just wondering if you would like to calm along?" Edward shook his head immediately not saying a word and Rosalie nodded glancing my way but turned around to leave

"Rosalie wait" I called out and she entered the room again

"Yes?" she asked curiously, a eyebrow raised.

I looked over at Edward his eyebrow was raised in the same manner, I bit on my bottom lip then turned away from him and back to Rosalie

"Edward needs to go, I feel horrible enough as it is that he's not eating because of me" she smiled encouragingly at my bravery and then nodded

"I think your right" she looked over at Edward and his expression was hard

"Must you two gang up on e like that" his tone was cold but I wasn't the least bit afraid

"Go" I pleaded with my eyes as he stared down at me. After what seemed like five minutes of unbearable silence he sighed standing up.

"Fine I'll go" I could hear the reluctance in his voice; I knew he must have been starving.

He pulled me up and I followed him out of the room, we walked down the grand staircase where Esme and Jasper were waiting, shock crossed their faces but only for a second. They were obviously surprised Edward was joining their little "party".

"Oh Edward so glad you could come" Esme said the motherly tone was strong in her voice; she was worried all week that Edward would grow weak from starvation. Edward smiled at her and it warmed me up inside to see the love they had for each other, there relationship seemed stronger then mine and Renee's.

I pulled my hand away from Edward's seeing his fist clench in to a tight ball

"Have fun" I said happily as I played off a good smile, inside I was dying wishing I could get a taste too.

Edward turned to face me kissing my forehead his lips lingering for a minute before he pulled away growling

"I don't want to do this" he said like a little child

"I'll be fine" is aid laughing at his stubbornness, he smiled finally and with that they left me Alice coming up right bedside's me on cue as they shut the door behind them.

"Shopping?" she asked a smile beaming across her face

"Not a good idea Alice" I said dejectedly and she pouted.

"You must be hungry" she guessed as I watched the door.

I nodded feeling ashamed even though it was my right to eat

"Well what they don't know won't hurt them" she said grabbing on to my hand leading me towards the back of the house

"Where are we going?" I asked as she pulled me through the sliding glass doors and out to the desolate backyard

"I can't stand to see you like this Bella!" she whined as we stopped in the middle of the yard, the trees were a vibrant green even under the clouds, I had forgotten until now that it was mid-summer already.

"You're eating I can't stand looking at those eyes" I blinked feeling a little excited now, I always wanted to see how I would look like with creamy butterscotch eyes.

"We're going to take it slow okay" she rested both of her hands on my arms staring behind me to see if Carlisle had noticed our little walk. I nodded feeling jumpy as she let go

"Follow me" she spoke and with that she was gone the only thing signaling her presence was the trees as they swayed form her exit.

It wasn't hard for me to keep up and in no time at al I was running besides her, the wind I crated felt good in my hair but I kept my eyes open afraid if I closed them I would run in to something, not like it could hurt me or anything.

Alice veered off to the right giving me a quick look that silently told me I should go in the opposite direction I did what she said. I could see her a few yards away from me as we both ran through the tree leaves and bushes. It was then that I caught site of the group of deer we were hunting they were unaware of our stealth as they sat lazily grazing on a patch of grass. My body quivered with excitement as I stopped running crouching down, imitating Alice down to the last twitch of a finger.

Her eyes caught mine and she nodded signaling me to go on ahead, I felt put on the spot as she watched every move I made. I kept low to the ground making my way up to the clearing; I stopped suddenly when one deer lifted his head his nervous eyes scanning his surroundings, his ear twitched as he chewed on some grass. Once he went back to his food I began again not once did I hear a twig snap beneath my feet, I stopped at the clearing just far enough for them not to see me but close enough that I yearned for their blood.

I took another step forward getting ready to lunge when all five of them began galloping away, without Alice's permission I leaped forward chasing them down. I was too hungry to even care where I was headed I had my eyes on the prize and I was going to win. I heard Alice behind me calling out my name telling me to stop but I didn't pay attention, the deer took a turn going deeper in to the woods but I kept up running faster pumping my legs harder it was invigorating to run like this.

I jumped up soaring through the sky grazing the treetops when I landed on top of one bringing it down to the ground with me. It struggled under my grip but I won and it lay on the ground in front of me motionless. I tried to calm my breathing as I looked over at my prize. Just then I shot my head up, my eyes scanning the forest as I heard twigs snapping all around me.

My head twisted behind me and I noticed them, a pair of black eyes staring at me being cautious as it circled around the clearing just out of site. I looked around for Alice but she was nowhere in site. The eyes were in front of me and I stayed crouching trying to decide what to do next. Just as I was about to pick up the deer and run the creature stepped out, I gasped startled as his hair stood on end a low growl passing through his bared teeth. I didn't need to be human to recognize the color of its fur, the horrifying look its eyes gave me.

"Jacob…" I whispered standing up but it growled in return I didn't move a muscle as it moved forward in to the light, it took one quick glance to the deer that lay before me and then kept his eyes on me after that. I started to walk backwards to where I came because I knew why he was here; I knew why Alice was telling me too stop. I wasn't safe here anymore; I had crossed the border breaking the treaty , to Jacob I was no longer Bella I was one of them and as Jacob circled me I feared for my life.


	3. Chapter 3

Edwards's voice startled Jacob and I both as it ripped through the trees. Jacob didn't have time to react as he was slammed to his side inches from my face. I tried to get rid of that image, when Jacob's baring teeth were inches away from me opened and threatening, for once in my life I wasn't sure if Jacob would hurt me or not.

Alice came up behind me making me scream out but she caught me mid scream by clasping a hand over my mouth

"Shhh" she whispered into my ear as she pulled me back to the woods. Once we were far enough from the clearing she spun me around to face her

"What were you thinking" she hissed her tone far from friendly

"I'm sorry" I said shaking my head as my eyes darted around

"Where are the rest of them?" I asked nervousness rising up in my voice I didn't want to face anymore werewolves today, Jacob was enough.

"There not far off that's why we need to move!" she wasn't whispering anymore as something black ripped through the bushes hurling itself at us, Alice pushed me away and I rolled coughing up dirt when I stopped. Sam was howling as he stood between me and Alice the look on her face told me she didn't know what to do next.

I kept myself on the ground hoping to go unnoticed but as Sam took his eyes away from the sky and back to us he looked menacing. For the first time I didn't see Sam Ulley I saw something a lot more terrifying and so did Alice. Just then I shut my eyes as he sauntered over his enormous black paws resting before my face, just then he jumped out of the way and instead dog paws I saw shoes, the growling voice didn't sound like Edward and when I looked up I saw Jasper crouched down defending us both.

They circled one another and I sat up scrambling to my feet, I stared back at Alice who was in the same position as Jasper I watched on helplessly not sure what to do. I heard a howl off in the distance but Sam kept his eyes on us three nothing was going to ruin his concentration. Jasper leaped forward and so did Sam both crashing to the ground on impact, the motion shook the earth beneath my feet and I backed up to a tree junk digging my nails in to the bark. Alice joined in to the fight and it was all a blur as they wrestled one another to the ground, I closed my eyes hearing as clothing ripped.

When all was silent my eyes shot open and I took in the site before me, Alice and Jasper were standing next to each other clothes nearly torn to shreds but lying on the ground before them was Sam crippled in defeat.

"Move!" Jasper yelled over to me and I started to run, run to where I hope the house was and when I saw it up ahead I pushed myself to go faster collapsing onto the ground once I finally reached the backyard. I lay there in a heap holding my knees up to my face; I wasn't ready for all this. I wasn't ready to be one of them and I certainly wasn't ready to fight a pack that protected me at one point in my past life.

I hoped that both sides were okay but I feared most for Sam who looked hurt. I opened my eyes when I heard footsteps enter the yard

"Bella!" Edward yelled sounding scared and anxious as he ran up to me, I felt his hands on my cheek and I opened my eyes, he lifted me up in to his arms and I grabbed at his shirt as he pulled me close cradling me delicately, why was I such a baby in both lives?

"Are you okay?" he asked keeping a hold on me as he headed inside

"I'm fine, how's everyone else?" he didn't answer me as he set me down on to the kitchen counter standing before me, I saw a tare in his clothing and I ran my fingers over the exposed skin running them across his chest

"Edward how is everyone else?" I asked again locking eyes

"Fine" he said calmly but his eyes didn't read so.

I shook my head leaning forward so my head was resting on his chest, he smoothed out my hair with his hands "I'm so sorry" I said over an over again, my voice muffled from his shirt.

"It's over now" his voice was hard and I felt the tension. I tore my face away from his shirt when I heard more footsteps enter in to the kitchen. I took a sigh of relief as each and every Cullen stepped through that door.

"Is everyone okay?" I asked hopping down from the counter letting Edward rest his hand around my waist

"We're fine" Emmett answered me annoyed

"Didn't get to any of them" Edward answered the irritation he probably felt in his head. He nodded smirking and I cringed, the images of Jacob and Sam flashed through my head.

"Not one" he said as he sat down in the seat closest to him

"Alice I should have listened" she smiled weakly then looked up at Jasper as he grabbed on to her hand

"It's already begun, we crossed the lines today there's no going back"

"All because of me!" I shrieked feeling awful; one stupid move put my whole family in jeopardy.

No one moved although I would have settled for just a small head nod. I got around Edward's grip and stalked out of the room, he didn't follow me right away and I was fine, I needed some time by myself. I walked over to the piano running my fingers along the keys remembering of simpler times, like the night Edward played for me right on the bench I was sitting on.

I ran my fingers though my hair about ready to slam my head off the piano but I didn't not wanting to break it to splinters. I looked up when I saw Edward enter the room

"What now?" I asked as he sat down besides me resting his hand on top of mine

"Jasper thinks they'll probably be back sometime soon, Sam was hurt bad they'll be looking for revenge"

I rested my head on his shoulder sighing

"This is all my fault" I whispered tracing a finger along the bones of his knuckle

"You didn't know" he said trying to calm me down but I wasn't buying it

"Alice tried to stop me but all I could think about was that…" I couldn't even finish as I remembered how savage I was, what I felt at the time was all in good fun until Jacob showed up.

"He didn't look at me the same way" my voice croaked and Edward knew who I was implying

"Because your not the Bella he knew, remember that" I shut my eyes squeezing them together tight. He was right I wasn't what I used to be I was a blood thirsty monster.

Carlisle cleared his throat as he entered the room

"Edward we need to see you back in the kitchen, Bella you too" we both looked over at him but stood up without question and as we made our way back in to the kitchen I knew what this was about.

We all sat around preparing for what we knew coming, actually they plotted I just sat there keeping to myself. I didn't think I was ready to fight especially against Sam's pack. Night came and I looked out the window up at the full moon, the clouds had cleared around dusk giving us natural light as we prepared to face our immortal enemies.

I stood in Edward's room; the vast wall of windows let in the moon's light giving me no reason to turn on any bulbs. I turned my head when I heard Alice enter

"You ready?" she asked still standing by the door way, I shook my head turning fully around to face her

"Is it okay to be nervous?" I asked feeling pathetic

She gave me a warm smile and nodded

"Sure, I mean Bella we're going up against your friends"

"They were my friends" I corrected and she nodded

"Yeah well funny how that works" I walked past her and out in to the hallway, I heard her close the door behind me

"Where's Edward?" I asked forgetting that he wasn't up here with me

"Outside with the rest of them" I followed her downstairs in a blur we ran outside kicking leaves up as we made our way down the driveway. The Cullen's were standing around in a half circle murmuring in voices I could now hear, not like before.

"I should take Bella" Emmett suggested looking up at me as I joined the group

"Me too" Rosalie piped in her radiant blonde hair reflecting the moon's light from above.

"No" Edward growled "She's staying with me"

"Edward" Carlisle spoke in his most authorized voice "You can't fight while trying to help her at the same time"

"I think she's ready for a good fight" Jasper piped up as he rocked back and forth on his heels

I smiled appreciatively his way; I was so sick of being treated like a baby. Yeah I was a new born not quit handling my strength but I was one of them now and I deserved a fight too, even if it was against Jacob.


	4. Chapter 4

It was settled after much arguing that I was too split up with Emmett and Rosalie while the rest of them went their own ways. Edward walked off furious and I understood why, the last time he made a decision like this I was sent off with Tanya…and well you could guess what happened next.

For the first few days after my transformation as hard as it was Edward stayed away from me for periods at a time. He took the blame for Tanya's attack on me and I tried over and over to assure him that I provoked her, of course that was a lie because I did nothing of the sort.

I hugged my arms around my chest before we took off and soon enough I was flying, through the trees the night enclosed around me and I felt completely alone. I saw flickers of Rosalie and Emmett running besides me and I knew why Emmett volunteered to look after me because he was a lot stronger than Edward and he at least had a fighting chance of keeping me in control…..

My thoughts drifted off as a lusciously sweet smell crossed my nose; I started to slow down just enough to catch a stronger whiff. I could feel my mouth watering as the venom coursed through my veins burning them up until it was unbearable.

I did the unthinkable and veered off to my left down to the town's limits where I could have sworn I smelt the blood coming from an open wound. I groaned as I felt my body lurch forward hitting the cold hard ground with a crash like lightening. Dirt dug up in to my mouth as we slid down what looked like a hill I just didn't know who was on top of me.

"Let go!" I screamed thrashing about under the firm grip that pinned me to the ground.

"No Bella, relax!" Emmett yelled bringing his face down to mine until our eyes met

"Relax…" I repeated him calming down the smell escaping my nostrils making it a little easier to focus. I saw Rosalie appear over his shoulder her face disapproving

"I told you she would get distracted" she said with a smirk and slight raise of an eyebrow.

"Ridiculous Bella you need to focus!" his voice scared me as he tried to get it through my head that this was not the time to let my senses to take over

"I almost killed somebody" I whispered as my breathing slowed

He sighed letting me sit up but kept his hand wrapped around my arm making it look like he was giving me an Indian Burn.

"Wouldn't be the first time" Rosalie said too busy examining a nail to look over at me.

"You think Edward's on his way?" I asked standing up brushing the dirt from my face and jeans

"Oh I'm sure Alice has seen something by now" Emmett scoffed

"But it was a split decision on your part Bella so I say give it five minutes" Rosalie smiled feeling what I felt, that Edward worried just a little too much sometimes and as we speak he was probably on his way right now looking for me.

"Should we get going again?" I asked looking around me ready to see Edward breaking through the trees at any minute

"I think Edward should take it from here" Emmett said leaning up against a tree

"I'm sorry" I said quietly looking down at my muddy hands, my eyes flashed over to Rosalie's perfectly manicured hand as she rested it on my shoulder

"It's okay this won't be the last time you slip up, you just need to be in a little more control"

"I don't-" just then Edward ran in to the clearing that my body had made as I slid down the hill.

"Are you alright?" he asked me as he walked my way his eyes checking for any damage

"I'm fine" I said throwing my hands up but then resting them on his chest as he came closer. He looked relieved to see I wasn't harmed but a little curious as to why I was covered in mud

"Don't worry bro, Bella tried to make a run for it but I stopped her" Emmett threw an arm around Rosalie's shoulders bringing her up in to a hug. Edward's expression hardened as his jaw clenched shut and through greeted teeth

"You're coming with me"

"No complaints there" I sighed taking a hold of his hand as he whisked me away back in to the woods.

He kept close behind me as we ran to our destination, my heart pounded more rapidly as we drew close to where we were supposed to all meet up. I didn't pay attention much when the Cullen's had been discussing their plans, what I did catch though was we were supposed to spilt up scanning all areas in search for Sam's pack and if not found we would meet up and wait together as a group knowing they would come to us if we stayed in one place.

A howl that seemed too close for comfort made me slow down until I was at a stop

"Edward?" I asked turning around to see if he heard it too. My eyes practically bulged out of there sockets when I noticed he was no longer behind me I panicked as I spun myself around looking through the darkness for him

"Edward!" I yelled as I started to run backwards retracing our steps, out of the corner of my eye I noticed a break in the trees and I followed the menacing growl that ripped through the night.

"Edward!" I yelled out again and then I heard him

"Stay back!" he warned I didn't listen as I tried to look for him, it seemed like his voice was coming out of thin air. I stepped out into a small clearing and right away noticed Edward crouched down to my left by the tree line

"I said stay back!" he growled ferociously and I remained completely still as I saw Jacob emerging from the shadows at the other end of the clearing.

"Jacob…" I whispered pleading with my eyes for him not to attack; he was crouched down like a tiger hunting its prey. He looked over to me and I could see the hurt in his eyes. I took a step closer and Edward growled louder

"Bella what are you doing!" he yelled out to me but I ignored him, Jacob hesitated as I took another step reaching out my hand to touch his coarse hair.

His teeth were bigger than my hand and I knew he could take it off easily but I didn't care. If he was still the Jacob I knew he wouldn't make a move on me

"I'm sorry about Sam…." I said my voice shaking with fear, he was like a magnet to me and I took another step closer.

He snarled but didn't bark as he backed away from me

"I'm still Bella…." I said slowly as he shook his head

"Bella get back!" Edward's voice made me turn my head, he was standing up now watching Jacob carefully, and his hands clenched tight making fists.

"Its okay" I said softly smiling as best I could, my heart sank as it skipped a beat

"Edward watch out!" I screamed at the top of my lungs which startled the crouching werewolf behind him, Edward jumped out of the way but the werewolf was faster catching Edward by the leg bringing him down to the cold hard ground.

I tried to run up to him but Jacob startled me by blocking my way

"Jacob don't let him do this!" I screamed but Jacob remained completely still, I looked behind his tall figure helplessly as both Edward and Seth circled one side of the opening waiting for one another to make the first move.

I felt betrayed, betrayed by Jacob who used to be and would forever be my best friend no matter how much he hated me. Betrayed by Seth who once helped Edward out to save my life, Betrayed by the whole pack who I was closest with when Edward left and now they all wanted me dead, especially after what happened to Sam.

I felt fury rise though me escaping out my throat as I screamed, a noise that even scared me. I must of looked savage my voice, my look, my eyes but Jacob didn't even wince. I lunged forward at Jacob tackling him down to the ground. I wrestled with him feeling as my body was pushed deeper and deeper in to the mud as he stood over me snapping his teeth inches away from my face

"Don' t do this!" I yelled over the growl as I grabbed on to his hair pulling at it, he ignored my efforts to get him off. I looked over to my side seeing Edward still fighting with Seth.

Our eyes locked and he looked afraid, afraid for me. He pushed harder against Seth and I knew what he was trying to do. He was trying to fight of Seth enough to help me; I felt the pressure lift off of me as Jacob got off leaving me breathing heavily as I tried to collect my thoughts.

I turned over to my stomach pushing myself off the ground, Seth was looking over at me and then switched his focus to Jacob behind me, and he nodded once leaving Edward behind as both of them disappeared back in to the woods. I tried to wrap my head around what happened, had Jacob given him orders to leave? Would they be back to attack again but as Edward wrapped his arms around me I didn't care

"Are you alright?" I asked taking in to account that he might be hurt

"I'm fine" he said as he held me tighter.


	5. Chapter 5

"Why did they just leave?" I asked as we made our way back to the house, Edward walked alongside of me hand in hand; he wasn't feeling up to running.

"I don't know…" his voice was quiet and I looked up at his face to see how it read, he was thinking I knew that much. Probably thinking the same thing I was, why would Jacob give that kind of order too just leave? There had to of been a bigger problem going on somewhere else

"They knew to block their thoughts around me" he spoke again and I squeezed his hand, he sounded irritated that they learned to block their thoughts just as well as Alice did.

We walked in to the yard and the wind whipped my hair over my face

"How could Jacob do that…?" I whispered loud enough for Edward to hear

"I don't know" he answer honestly, there was no clear reason why Jacob attacked me like he did, part of me was telling me it was because I was part of the Cullen family now, the other part screamed that there was something more going on.

We weren't the only one's back at the house, I noticed Rosalie rubbing Emmett's back for comfort as he sat at their dining room table

"What's wrong?" I asked keeping a hold of Edward's hand as we walked over to the table also. Edward pulled a chair out for me and I was reluctant to sit down, I was still shaking.

"Emmett's upset that they left in such a hurry"

"I'm not upset I'm angry" he said looking up at her through clenched teeth, she made a face which loosed up his features, I couldn't help but smile at how disappointed he was that he wasn't able to carry on a good fight

"So they left just as abruptly for you too" Edward said watching as Rosalie nodded

"We were about to attack and then they just ran away"

"Scared little mutts" Emmett mumbled as he clenched his hands in to fists as they rested on the table.

I turned my head back to the door as I heard everybody else enter

"Something's not right" Jasper whispered over to Carlisle as they were the last to enter, He nodded in agreement then shut the door behind him.

Esme walked over to us gently placing a hand on to my shoulder, I smiled up to her

"I'm sure he has a good reason" she said making me frown, it was like she was reading my mind which was extremely confused at this time, Jacob had to of had a good reason for fighting me.

I pushed out my chair standing up

"I'm going to go take a walk" Edward stood up too but I put out my hand

"I just need to think, I won't be long" he looked at me for what felt like the longest minute but reluctantly sat down with a strained smile.

The cold air felt good as I ran through the woods, once I stepped out of that door I knew where I was headed and it would only be another minute before I reached my destination. I slowed my pace as I neared the house, completely stopping by the front porch steps.

My body began to tremble again as I saw my car sitting parked in the driveway just as I had left it, Charlie's cruiser right behind it. I took a deep breath as I jumped up to my window, opening it quickly without even a squeal. I stepped inside the familiar little room, my fingers running along my bed spread collecting dust as I moved on to my bureau. Everything was as I left it, my computer sitting atop of the desk in the corner. The rocking chair right across from it, a quilt neatly folded over the seat. My bag sitting on the top of my unmade bed, I took in the familiar smell remembering what I must have smelled like before, I picked up one of my old perfume bottles smiling at the memory it gave me.

Renee had bought me this before I moved away, it was practically still filled. I stood silently in the middle of my room as I heard the Sports news blaring in the living room downstairs. I boldly made my way out in to the hallway and down the stairs; the only difference now is every creak that reminded me of home went silent as I soundlessly slipped downstairs.

Charlie was fast asleep on the couch remote glued to hand. I stood there watching him as he snored loudly turning over to his side as he did so, The kitchen light was still on and out of habit my hand twitched to turn it off but I stopped myself remembering that I had to leave everything as was, especially if these visits were going to be frequent. It made me smile though at how Edward must have acted because even though he never admitted it I knew he probably snuck in to my house a time or two before we really knew each other.

I looked around at the kitchen before me taking in a breath as I saw my picture, MISSING written boldly over my smiling face. I stupidly ripped the paper from the fridge staring at it, a lump rising up in to my throat. I felt like crumpling it up thinking if I did so that Charlie would just forget, I dropped it on the ground not able to stand my surroundings anymore. I dashed upstairs and back out my window plopping myself down in the grass that grew on the vacant lot across from my house.

_Of course he had pictures of me of course! _I thought to myself as I buried my face in to my arms which were wrapped around my knees. _He has been looking for me all along, that's what Edward was hiding from me, and he was trying to protect me; protect me from what was really going on._

I felt like crying although that was impossible it felt like I was crying inside, that made me even more upset though as I figured that soon enough all memories of my past life would be gone. I wouldn't know how it felt to cry, I would forget Charlie, Renee, even Phil. I would forget where I grew up and why I moved to Forks. I wouldn't even remember Angela, or mike and god forbid Lauren! Why was this all dawning on me now? Maybe because my transformation was completely unexpected, I had whished to be turned in to a vampire for so many months and now I finally realized why Edward wanted me to wait so long.

He tried to tell me over and over again what I would be missing but I was so ignorant at the time that I didn't care. Of course I wanted to change to be with Edward for forever but that seemed to be the only upside tonight and now he wasn't even with me, to comfort me and tell me everything would be aright, I was completely alone now.

I stood up feeling like I didn't want to be alone anymore. I only ran at half speed back home not really giving it my all, I didn't want anyone to see me like this. To see me, hurt and broken even if I tried my hardest not to show it I knew I was awful at hiding my emotions.

The house came in to view as I made my way up the driveway I had slowed down to a walk pacing myself as best I could. I saw the garage lights on smiling to myself as I saw Alice perched up on the hood of her Porsche he legs swinging back and forth as they hung from the front.

"Hey" she said jumping down as I walked over

"Hi" I said with a small smile she looked puzzled

"What's the matter Bella?" she asked resting an arm around my shoulder as she stared at me

"He's been looking for me….Charlie" she nodded her head

"I know…" she was just as quiet as I was

"We saw the posters up the day after and then the police started to come"

"We can't hide like this anymore" I said with a sigh as I leaned up against her car, she did the same.

"We know, Carlisle and Esme have been trying to figure out what to do for awhile now"

"I feel awful Alice" I said earnestly as I shook my head digging my shoes in to the gravel.

"We'll figure it out, everything will be alright"

"What about Sam's pack shouldn't we try to fix all this"

"I don't think we can Bella"

"Why not?" I asked stepping away from the car to face her

"Why can't we just try?"

"It's too late…."

"What do you mean too late? I know Jacob will understand if we just exp-"

"Sam's dead Bella, Jasper killed him" she said cutting me off the words smacking me in the face

"Dead…" I whispered feeling blindsided

"He didn't mean too, it just happened, you have to understand he was protecting us"

I took in a breath feeling dizzy, I hadn't known about Sam and the puzzle pieces all fit now. Jacob and the rest f the pack attacked for revenge, and the reason they left so suddenly was because Sam had passed.

"How do you know, that might not be true"

"Its true Bella, the news is calling it an accident"

"No" I said shaking my head

"Jacob will never forgive me"

"Forget about him Bella, don't you see when you became one of us that's when your friendship with Jacob ended" I spun around on my heel not wanting to hear anymore, this night was getting worst and worst. I know now that Jacob would be back, no matter how far we would go to get out of Forks he would find us.

I walked back in to the house, the lights practically blinding me as I stepped out of the dark. I walked in to the living room where Esme and Carlisle were sitting the news on at the lowest possible volume but what they were saying was crystal clear for my sensitive ears.

I sat closest to Esme and she put her hand on my lap

"I'm sorry Bella" she whispered and I placed my hand on top of hers squeezing it

"Where's Edward?" I asked looking over at her as she gestured her head toward the stairs, I stood up without another word and ran upstairs before Esme could even turn her head back to the TV screen I was standing in front of his room, our room.

I opened the door and he was sitting quietly in the darkness on the couch that acted as an unneeded bed.

"Hey…" I said walking over to him making myself comfortable on his lap, I felt his arms constrict around me as I nestled my head in the crook between his shoulders and neck

"You've heard" he spoke softly and I nodded knowing he meant Sam

"And you've seen it" he said again meaning the Missing poster that hung on Charlie's fridge.

I nodded again reaching my lips up to his jaw kissing him lightly; a crooked smile appeared across his lips.

I kissed him again, this time on the lips and he returned the favor pulling away smiling

"You need to eat" I looked back surprised

"Really?" I asked surprised

He nodded standing up setting me down on the ground as he did so, he took a hold of my hand leading me out in to the hallway

"Edward I don't know if I can"

"Shhh" he said putting a finger against my lips

"I don't want to see you hungry anymore" he whispered as he placed a hand on my cheek, I smiled as we went our way down the stairs.

"We're going hunting" he announced to Esme and Carlisle as they continued to watch the news coverage.

They turned there heads surprised as well

"She'll be fine" he assured them before whisking me away back in to the night. I could feel my veins pulsating as my body shook; the hunger erupted inside of me as we made our way through the woods. I followed Edward closely telling myself not to lose my head this time, we rounded a huge tree and I stopped when out of the corner of my eye I spotted a herd of deer. My hunter instincts were kicking in as I crouched low to the ground Edward right next to me.

"Be quiet, calm, and most importantly under control" I nodded determined as he nudged me ahead

I walked forward pushing the tree branches away from me to get a better view. Most of them were sleeping but I noticed a few curious eyes shift this way and that way as they listened.

I looked behind me at Edward feeling unsure, the last time I tried this I brought Jacob back what if that would happen again?

"Go" he encouraged in a low whisper and I nodded biting my lower lip.

I stared intently as one deer got up flicking its ears as it chewed on something, grass maybe?

I started to rock back and forth on my feet ready to spring and after much thought I sprung. The rest of the herd got away but I was able to catch and bring down a deer that was not so fast.

Edward came up behind me as I stood before the lifeless animal

"Your first kill" he said kissing me on the head as he wrapped his arm around my waist, I felt triumphant as the June bugs echoed around me like they were applauding.

"Now eat" he murmured and the trembling started all over again, my senses and hunger took over as I looked the deer up and down. Even though I had never fed before it was like my body knew how to take in the blood anyways.

It coursed through my veins filling whatever part of my body starved for this blessed event. This was all knew to me but as I finished up I felt like I had been doing this my whole life. Edward looked on afraid I would lose control and thirst for more but I kept my head on my shoulders and when I stood up I felt whole somehow, I had passed the test I was now one of them completely.

I turned to him and he was wearing my favorite smile

"Your eyes look beautiful" he murmured before kissing me on the forehead, I laughed wrapping my arms around my waist but jumped when I heard the snapping of twigs as someone entered the clearing.

"Bella" his voice was sharp and hoarse

I pulled away from Edward who's smile turned in to a hard line as his expression hardened

"Jacob" he said but he ignored him

He was in his usually sweats, bare feat bare chest and all, but he seemed different but then again so did I.

He looked a lot more built in the upper body area and either my eyes were playing tricks on me or he did grow another few inches. He eyed the deer that lay behind us and I took a big gulp, blindly searching for Edwards hand and once found I squeezed it tightly.

"We are sorry for your loss" Edward spoke for me making Jacob sigh

"Yeah we lost a great pack leader"

"Well I'm sure now your now pack leader?"

"Don't try to make small talk with me bloodsucker!" Jacob snapped making Edward snicker, I however cringed at the word knowing that he now meant me too.

"Jacob I'm so sorry" my voice surprised him and his face seemed to soften just a little bit but his words still stung

"Well it's your fault"

"This wasn't her fault" Edward spoke defending me but Jacob was just as stubborn

"If she hadn't crossed the line Sam would still be here!" he yelled pointing a finger at me as his whole body began to shake. Edward nudged me behind him but I wouldn't let go of his hand no matter how uncomfortable it was to him.

"Your pack could of let it slide but you came after us" Edward said raising his voice, I tried not to look at Jacob as he kept his eyes on me, his hair falling in front of his eyes which he quickly brushed away.

"Consider yourself warned then" Jacob said through clenched teeth

"We're coming back…"

"Thanks for the heads up mutt"

"Anytime" Jacob said smirking before he spun around on his heel disappearing to where he came from.


	6. Chapter 6

"I hate him" Edward muttered as we walked back in to the house

"He was warning us Edward aren't you the least bit scared?"

"What of him" he snorted leading me over to the couch, I sat down willingly feeling a little light headed. He sat down next to me as close as possible as I leaned my head down on his shoulder, watching as he rubbed my hand

"Bella the wolves are no match for us"

"Yeah but…"

"But nothing it'll be fun"

"Fun…" I repeated not feeling the least bit happy about all this, I sighed as I closed my eyes wishing I could erase this whole night with my mind, unfortunately I didn't have a power like that. In fact I never gained any power, I was ordinary just like my human self it was pathetic. Before I was changed I always imagined what kind of power I would gain, maybe I would be able to read minds, or see the future hell I would even settle for super strength but I had nothing.

"It's going to be okay Bella" Edward murmured sensing my tension, I opened my eyes shaking my head

"Maybe we should just-" Edward cut me off by placing a hand over my mouth

"Shhh" he whispered as his eyes darted around the room

I stared up at his face afraid to move but my eyes questioned him and he could tell. He stood up bringing me with him, the house went silent

"We have to go" he whispered as he dropped his hand

"But why?" I asked feeling a little confused as he looked around the house for anybody else

"They've already left" he said but before I could even open my mouth to speak I heard another voice, a voice that sounded a lot like Charlie's

"Someone's in there" I heard him say from outside, I froze when I saw a shadow pass the window.

"C'mon" Edward said tugging at me, it felt like my muscles weren't working and I shook my head. He ignored me scooping me up in to his arms as he darted out of the house, too fast for human eyes to see.

We were in the confines of the forest before I could even catch my breath. Edward crouched down pulling me with him as we watched the police walk around the house. Charlie was leading the way as he pushed open the unlocked front door

"Where's everyone else?" I asked in hurried whispers as the lights coming form inside shone across our faces. I crouched lower to the ground feeling Edward's hand on my back as he pushed us down lower. His eyes were furious as we watched them search the house for any sign of us, I prayed that no one was inside the house and Edward answered my wordless answer

"There out here too" he spoke quietly as a few cops began to search the grounds with there flashlights.

The flashlight shone over head as they scanned the area we were in

"Edward…" I whispered

"Shhh" he said again quieting me down, I closed my mouth afraid they would even hear my breathing, I could smell them now they were that close. There blood taunted me as they walked closer and my hands began to shake as they dug in to the rocky ground, I wanted to taste them, I _needed _to taste them, it was unbearable and I closed my eyes trying to hold my breath but I started to get uncomfortable and I let out a gasp.

Edward clasped his hand over my mouth as I stared wide eyed at the cop who had heard me, his eyes squinted as he pointed his flashlight our way, I could see the light skim over the tops of my hair and I prayed that it blended in to the trees. He took one step forward and I clenched my teeth shut as the aroma of his blood lingered below my nose.

"Bella…" Edward muttered as he felt the tension in my jaw. I nodded my head letting him know that I was fine but I wasn't I was hungry, starving to put it in better terms.

We laid completely still, I stared at Edwards face trying to get my mind off the cop, he kept his face straight as he watched every move the cop made. I squirmed under his grip having enough. My senses took over as my mind crumbled

"Bella stay clam" Edward hissed as he kept me pinned down to the ground, the cop heard Edward's voice and his head snapped in our direction. My strength over powered Edward's and I jumped up squinting as the flashlight's light blinded me

"Hey Charlie!" he yelled as he gave me a warm smile, thinking that he found me but that wasn't the case, he didn't find Bella he found his worst nightmare.


End file.
